Stiff-Necked

Moses bowed to the ground at once and worshiped. "O Lord, if I have found favor in your eyes," he said, "then let the Lord go with us. Although this is a stiff-necked people, forgive our wickedness and our sin, and take us as your inheritance." (Exodus 34:8-9)

I've been going to a physical therapist for my carpal tunnel (and thank God it's practically gone). She also just started to work on my neck, because I've had rather chronic neck pain. Thank bad posture at the computer for that... it's amazing how such a non-athletic job can totally mess you up.

Last night I went to my housegroup, which is currently doing a class on healing. So when the pastor asked if anyone had discernable pain that could be prayed about (not that we wouldn't pray for someone with, say, diabetes, but it's not as easy to tell if anything changed during the prayer) I asked for prayer for my neck. Because, of course, getting the muscles worked on is good for my neck in the long-run, but short-term it actually hurt more.

I'm not going to go into the whole prayer time. I know that my neck felt a lot better afterwards (praise God) but that there were still small remnants of pain in my head and shoulders. But even now it is sore, but I believe it is that good sore that comes from a good workout, and I have faith that I will be restored to pre-computer health and strength.

What I didn't tell anyone that night, however, because I wanted to see if anyone got this picture, was that before we gathered to pray for my neck, I heard God rather distinctly in my mind saying that I have been stiff-necked, and he will release me from it. It was both an awesome and an awful thing to hear. I mean, think about how my physical neck hurt after just two sessions with my phyisical therapist. Now imagine how much my "spiritual neck" may end up hurting before I am healed of this. Ouch.

But revelation is revelation. Am I stiff-necked, proud, and full of controll issues? Yes. Do I need to change that if I want to be more like Jesus? Yes.

God, I open my heart, my mind and my soul to your ministrations. Help me to become more like you. I just ask that you be as gentle as you can be. Amen.