For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139: 13-14)
Just as a brief update, these morning times have been really beneficial for me. I'll admit it is really difficult having my alarm go off an hour earlier, especially as I have been going to bed after midnight every day this week. The annoying part is that my body naturally turns "on" at about 8 or 9pm, and I can be tired, yet wide awake until 2am. The next day at work, however, I feel wretched. But then about 8 or 9 pm, I wake up again. Being so tired all the time has opened me up to a lot of emotions... when I get this tired I get touchy, and the smallest thing going wrong or even just "different" is enough to bring me to tears.
But the beneficial part of getting up is that I have been spending more time thinking on the Bible and praying during the day, and even in my times of trouble or tiredness or frustration I have the Bible to rely on and guide my prayers. When I feel overwhelmed at work, I think of the storm on the lake that God calmed. If He can do that, He can handle my problems.
I have, this week, found myself pondering the verse of the day, during the day. I don't normally do that, so I do feel that this concept of getting up early and writing about what I read is really helping to imprint these words on my heart.
So this morning's Bible verse is my reminder. Today is simply a reminder that God created me, he created my body, from my hair down to my toes, and He created it to be awake late at night, and yet He created me to need a specific amount of sleep. And I need to honor this body that God gave me, by figuring out how best I can function in the place that God has put me. And, staying up until 1 or 2 and getting up at 6 isn't working right now. I can force through the days, but God did not create us to have to force, to have to hope against getting sick every day. He created us to be joyful and full of life, not slogging through the minutes.
I will go to work exhausted again today, but I will tell myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, that this body is a gift, and that I must be a good steward of it.
And, God-willing, I will get myself on a schedule that will allow me to both do what I need to do at home, and be awake and functioning at work. Let it be, Lord God, let it be.