Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
I'm dealing with an issue at work where some people are starting to say that the department I'm in is not exhibiting "teamwork" any more. It's a hard thing to hear, since I feel that I have generally been a "team player" for the 4 years I've been in this department.
But I have to wonder what "teamwork" means to other people. Because for 4 years, I pretty much bent over backwards to do whatever they wanted. Is that really teamwork, or them taking advantage of me? And is the fact that I'm beginning to feel the workload over-much and as such am pushing back on projects actually the reason why they perceive me as no longer being completely team-oriented? I don't know, but I can tell you that it's something I'm thinking about.
Especially when you read that verse in Philippians. I mean really... have I actually just become selfish? Have I decided that I do not in fact want to help anyone else out any more? That I'm better than them?
I don't really have much wisdom for you today. All I have is the same question I ask myself: Are you thinking of yourself more highly than you ought? If not, why might others think so? If so, what must you do to change this?
I'm not even sure what my answer is. But I pray that I will figure it out, so I can move forward accordingly.
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I've always had a problem with thinking that I'm better than others whether I consciously realized it or not. This is probably because of my parents, who tend to think of themselves as better than others. I know it probably sounds awful to say something like that about my mom and dad, but I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it were true. My mom actually got offended once when I told her I felt I was raised to be selfish, but I knew she was surprised I said that, not because it reflected poorly on me, but because it reflected poorly on her. My selfishness is something I will always struggle with. While it's gotten better in the last couple years, it's still an underlying issue that tears away at my self-esteem. I do selfish things, and immediately want to tear myself down for acting that way. I hope one day it will change.
ReplyDeleteGod has really been working on me about this too. We have been raised to believe that we deserve so much. I think it's worse in American culture too...the "owed to me" mentality. We lose sight of the true fruits of the spirit and how we should be having the mind of Christ...humble...not selfish...
ReplyDeleteI really, really, really struggle with this. It's tough...our society puts so much emphasis on bigger/better/more and that just feeds into our own selfish desires...our own evil desire for more...to be praised...it's rough.
I have been thinking a lot about the Amish communities and how they teach character to their children - lack of pride in oneself...putting others before themselves - regardless of their individual needs. I don't agree with all the doctrines and legalistic things taught by them - but those characteristics are truly the Mind of Christ. If only the rest of us in the "secular" world could grasp that.
I'm the first to raise my hand in guilt here. Definitely messed up a lot of things in my life out of selfishness.